Thursday, March 4, 2021

Fiona Signed Out From The Sky

March 04, 2021 12 Comments
 
I have always liked airports since teenager for some reason. It feels like there is a big unknown journey or adventure (or home) that awaits me whenever I'm waiting for a flight, and there is something advanced and futuristic whenever I see an aircraft (my favorite are Concorde and Hercules). Hence, in 2017, when I passed all of the tests and was invited to join a management trainee program in one of the Indonesian airlines, I just signed it with the benefit of the doubt (though the stamp dislodged twice when I stroke my signature on it, what omen was that lol). The first year was exceptional as I met amazing people as mentors and fellow MT. Despite the sweat and trials, I'm grateful to have all of these crazy and hilarious experiences to tell my future kids.
 
This time I won't write much, but I went through my hard disk and decided to compile the visual memories into 3 videos. Below you will see the three videos that summarize my four years of working in the aviation industry. Since this is quite a personal experience, the videos use casual Indonesian. Gomen.. >///<

The first video revolved around the beginning year of me coping with the new environment and knowledge as a trainee. I've always been a fast packer, but then I learned to get ready for a business trip within 45 minutes, so a new record was made. Also, I learned to work with the thing I dislike most: numbers.


The second video shows the time I lived in Kupang and Biak for few months. To be honest, in one of the footage of me being dumbstruck after Biak placement was announced, I had no idea where Biak was but still signed anyway, and then I frantically searched the map once I was back on my seat. I probably wouldn't see East Indonesia had they did not send me there. Good ol' story this one. Oh, you can see more about Semau Island in my other blog here.


The third video is the last, and it showcases the office life I had after finally settling down in the Head Office until my last day of working there. There I found long-term friends both in and outside the office as I grew a wider view of lifestyles and people, and how to work with them.

 

This is my profile picture in Linkedin. Ehe.. (Photo Credits: Fajar and Putri)


On the day I extended my farewell, the message from Bu Yuwan lingered with me for a long time. She is an iconic figure in the company and these four years, I was often being mistaken as her by a lot of people. The funniest was when I needed days to convince my District Manager in Biak that I'm not blood-related to Bu Yuwan and that I was not sent there for espionage purposes lol. Anyway, that day Bu Yuwan told me that she remembered me most during the CMT interview because, despite the environment and family condition, I still grew up well and radiate kindness. She said I'm strong but kind, and that I should be proud, be content and always continue to choose right. I didn't cry at all during the meaningful life talk but after that, I walked to a corner to stare at a wall for some time so my red nose can go back to its original complexion.

 

On my last day, I made her a 30-minute sketch during lunch break and I put it on her desk with a bar of chocolate and UC-1000. May she lives a long, healthy and happy life.

 

It's not the cool part I'm gonna miss, but the childish things like slipping in between divider for toilet shortcuts when no one's looking, the snack hunts from desk to desk (especially when on period), having a creepy secret admirer who put roses on my table, random slaps on the arms, Aldo's sliding tackle or him pushing all of the elevator buttons, and Khien's amusing remarks on how unusually fearless (slash stupid) I am when confronting unfairness. I don't usually keep the cool stuff in memory but there are two things I would definitely tell my kids; one is the time when I handled a project carrying 3300 passengers in 20 direct flights from Jakarta to Danang and back that it went to MURI, and the most satisfying one: when I retrieved 24 university certificates of us MT that were held as collateral for our four-year working contract, just a year before the contract ends. Now as I'm about to start a new chapter in the creative industry as a Leader of Project Managers in the biggest webtoon production house in Indonesia, I'm sure there will be more crazy and hilarious stories to create as much as new challenges to overcome.

 

Thank you for reading through and with this, I announce to the world that..

Fiona officially signed out from the sky! :)


Sunday, February 7, 2021

Bertaut, Sorai, Rumpang: My Indonesian Playlist of Nadin Amizah

February 07, 2021 0 Comments

I find myself listening to Nadin Amizah songs a lot lately. I like the feels of straightforwardness about life that is bitter but is taken brightly. In case you haven't heard her songs before, you can start from these three on my top playlist: 

Bertaut 

"Bun, hidup berjalan seperti bajingan" ("Mum, life goes on like a bastard" lol) is the song's first line. I first heard it on the radio inside a grab car on my way to work. That day, I spent half a day convincing myself (again) in front of a mirror to be strong and just go, (I've been going to the office around 10 or 11 am, sometimes 1 pm) because I was in a constant struggle to find good reasons to still work from office on daily basis in this corona time besides the bills I had to pay. I had hoped better job interviews would come sooner. Anyway, when that first line hit and broke my reverie, I was still looking out the car window but I was all ears, and the more I listened, the more I smiled. I'm intrigued by the full-fledged Indonesian poetic wording. Also, that was the most ear-candy I ever heard someone said "bajingan" haha. I looked the song up and realized it's the same singer who sang Sorai.
 

Imagine having a daughter who thinks like this about us. A mini us who looks up to us, always finds strength in us, whom we'll love no matter what. Imagine it feels like having both heartbeats linked (bertaut).  

Sorai 

It was my birthday night in 2019. I was sitting on a front deck of a boat cruising a huge river, resembling the river in the Anaconda movie, in Kalimantan. Stretching my legs looking at fireflies twinkling in between the jungle trees and the shimmering moonlight reflected on the dark water, I took a deep breath. Then, a little sister from work sat beside me saying nothing but playing this song on speaker. We sat in silence inhaling our surroundings and letting the cold night wind combing our messy hair. We know it would be quite a work to untangle them later, but we couldn't care less. It was a one-time moment of our lives. Now whenever I hear this song, it brings me back to that peaceful and carefree night. The night when I didn't have to worry about where I was going and had no one in mind because the boat was undeniably heading home despite in the darkness. Huh, I do sound like a soul taken by a Grim Reaper on an afterlife boat. :v
 

People met in a time frame, like passengers on a bus. They can sit side by side, but once their purposes for each other are done, they split again to continue their journeys to their destinations. They can only cheers (sorai) for their paths were once met.  

Rumpang

"Katanya mimpiku 'kan terwujud, mereka lupa tentang mimpi buruk" (They say my dreams will come true, they forget about the nightmares). No matter how much we pray about it, everyone will inevitably be left by someone; a family member, friend, lover, even enemy. It's weird but listening to the sweet melody seems to help bringing peace and acceptance about it in a beautiful way.
 

If you notice, you can't find the title in its lyric but you can feel the void (rumpang) of someone's existence or dreams deciphered throughout the song. I hope when you're listening to it and you're all healed, it will draw a smile on your face, for the void is embraced and accepted. :)

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Mindfulness in Distractions: Games, Songs, Series and Movies - My January 2021 List!

January 24, 2021 0 Comments

 

These pop culture products have been keeping me a good company for 2021 starter. If you are in the midst of healing from expectations, job rejections, project failure, shocking news, or if you are still struggling to do the things you believe in, I hope at least one of these would help you get up every morning, out of your head when you need distractions, and do what matters.

Games

I have been jumping back and forth between these two when I have the time:

  • Genshin Impact: for a sense of mission and leveling up. It has very nice graphics and visuals, plus you can change the character's language into Japanese for a cuter sound effect. By the time I posted this, I'm still on level 14.. *sigh* You can play it on mobile or PC too, and when I say the visual is great, it IS. Sometimes after beating some hilichurls, I'd just put my char there standing looking up at the sunset, starry sky, or the ocean horizon for a minute doing nothing. Friends from office have been laughing at my quirks and I laughed too. Beautiful scenery needs appreciation, period. See..mindfulness. XD
  • Guitar Girl: for a more relaxed state of mind. Google Play's Best of Casual 2020. It has pleasant guitar instrumental songs and a calico cat's costume set. I love any game that let me have a cat and wear anything cat related. This is such a simple and pretty game, so I only have it on mobile. After daily mission or lots of random taps, sometimes I just lie down, put my phone in my hand near my head, and leave it idle for the sake of the comforting instruments. A beautiful strum of an acoustic guitar needs appreciation too. :3

 Songs

This is completely preference-wise, but since I've been fond of Japanese songs, here goes my playlist:
There's a quote from a book I read a long time ago. And it has stuck in my mind since then. It said, "I don't want to die. I just want to live a better life". I don't know why but it saved me from killing myself so many times. -romio2703

“To be born with no purpose is to be born without meaning in life. There’s simply no reason to why you were born, it’s just simple as that. No purpose. No reason. No excuse. that’s why your purpose is to find meaning in a life that has no meaning. I think that’s what makes life unknowingly so beautiful and meaningful.” -Ephode
 
The comment section of suicidal songs on YouTube are really the warmest place on earth.

Asian Series

Since I'm skipping everything romance and going for more comedy or action (definitely not horror, nope nope), my recommendation would go to:

  • Alice in Borderland: A Netflix Japanese Sci-fi series. Don't expect Alice and a white rabbit, but instead, expect a no-life guy named Arisu (starring Kento Yamazaki. I know, if you watch Japanese movies, he's pretty much everywhere) trapped in life-and-death games. To be honest, AIB is brilliant but a bit too psycho for me, so I'm saving it for brighter days. Psst, it's confirmed that there will be season 2.
  • Mr. Queen: A Korean drama series, but I assure you, this is pure comedy with a bit of time-travel theme and twists here and there. It tells a story of a proud self-absorbed modern guy (starring Choi Jinhyuk) trapped in the body of a Joseon queen (starring Shin Hyesun). It's currently on going, and if you watch this and not laugh one bit, I don't know what you're made of.
  • Great Pretender: A Netflix Original Anime Series about a Japanese con-artist being conned by a group of con-artists from LA to join them conning rich and corrupt people. Phew, a lot of cons there. Many things I like are in there. I really like how the language can switch from English to Japanese, Chinese, Korean, even French, because they are a multi-nation group. I also like how they put in Japanese warlords such as Mitsuhide, Date Masamune, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, etc, as a plastic gacha symbol reference in each case. Not to mention cats! Hehe.. Anyway, hearing "Edamame" never cracks me up this hard. Ah, it only has 23 short episodes in total :(
  • Attack On Titan/Shingeki No Kyojin: An anime series that has become a reference to vaccine-related meme a lot. Politics, GoT vibes, dark secrets, deep plot and twists. We are all waiting for the final season to end too.

Movie Animation

  • I would positively recommend Soul from Disney Pixar! It is really heartwarming in many ways, especially for those who believe that everyone is born assigned to a purpose and that we have to follow our spark to reach our purpose. Many might think that not being able to live following our spark means failure in fulfilling our purpose. "I've always worried that maybe there's something wrong with me, you know? Maybe I'm not good enough for living," said 22 in the movie. I think "Soul" wanted to convey that if you are afraid to live because you're thinking you're not good enough, know that your spark isn't your purpose. Not living according to your big spark is okay. In fact, a spark is not always big. You're ready to live even if you're only good at jazzing or walking. Like 22 said again, "Maybe sky-watching can be my spark." Purpose can always be found along the way, even within small things in daily life.

  • My second recommendation would be Demon Slayer The Movie: Mugen Train. It is reported to have surpassed Titanic, Kimi No Nawa, and Frozen at the Japanese Box Office. Demon Slayer can appear a bit childish at some parts, but the courage, morals, and feel train are real kickers. I'm hooked because I want to see how an altruistic person can stay kind in a world full of monsters. Well, my heart goes to Rengoku in this movie, for the good values he instills to his young comrades, little brothers, and filial piety for his mother and father too. Okay, I won't spoil more, go watch it while it is still on XXI!


What do you usually play or listen to, or watch at the beginning of 2021? Let me know because I might like it too :3










Sunday, January 17, 2021

Dental Check Up - Dentists Have Fillings Too

January 17, 2021 0 Comments

One of these days, I finally went to a dentist to get my teeth checked. I've canceled the appointment twice before, but there is no running from this. If you know me in real life, you'd know that even without the pandemic, I hate seeing doctors and hospitals -especially dentists. It's never personal. I was maybe stabbed to death in a dental clinic in the previous life or something, haha, wakaranai. I went quite far that I even pulled out 95% of my milk teeth by myself back when I was in elementary as they began to loosen just because I didn't want a dentist to pull them out for me. Now, my adult teeth are crowding, and my molars got lines on them (apparently), not to mention the tartar. I know I need a dentist. We all do.

 

I left my office just before lunchtime, and I got to the dentist early. The dentist's front desk asked me to wait on a red sofa, and there I sat overhearing the constant screeching of drill sounds. I tried to read an e-book but couldn't really focus, so I opened my front camera to give myself the self-encouragement I needed. I took a selfie too. Below you'll see my face trying to stay calm while waiting on a sofa. Smiling, but it signaled, "Yo. Help me." :') *held my hand* *did the infamous butterfly hug* *telling myself I'm a cool adult* Then the nurse's voice cut my self-talk. She gave me PPE (Personal Protective Equipment, or APD in Indonesian) and helped me put it on like a lady-in-waiting dressing a crown princess. It was pretty awkward but okay.

 


 

I was thankful for an articulate dentist with a pretty visual until she told me I got four teeth in need of fillings that day and some scaling too. Also, in the next visit, she will be slicing at least six of my front teeth, and then I'll be all set for my teeth aligner. "SIX?" I took a glance at a white box full of drill needles nearby, and she caught on. She picked up one small drill needle saying that in my next visit, she would use that one on me. It will only slice 0.5mm per teeth at most so it won't hurt. That day I only need to get four teeth filled and scaled first. *laugh and cry* Okay..



I opened my front cam again for another self-encouragement as the dentist was filling some form. I remember thinking, "This PPE makes me look like I was gonna go under the knife. Ah, they say a kidney is worth $262,000, but I kind of still need them both intact." The dentist cut my random thought and asked me to raise a hand if I felt pain. I raised my hand a lot, only to signal her to pull her hand out of my mouth so I can ask questions. "What is that tool for?" "Is it gonna hurt?" "Why should I wear these glasses? Is the water gonna go into my eyes?" "What liquid is that? Is it for anesthesia?" "What are you doing now?" "Welp, I swallowed a bit of the drill water. Is it okay?" The dentist was a Goddess for putting up with me so nicely. She said I was too funny. What a sugarcoat for a girl who's anxious with sharp objects. Well, she moved fast. I stretched my jaws a bit after it was all done. It wasn't bad.

 

Afterward, she did my dental print, and my most-awkward-moment-of-the-week award went to this. She put her hand inside my mouth, not doing anything, just holding and pressing on the mold there. Three minutes for the upper jaw and three more minutes for the lower jaw. I know it's a normal thing to do, but I'm not even sure if I wanted to put the picture here. I took one for a family update, but you know what, I canceled posting it here because it looks super weird. I'll just describe the picture for you, alright. There was me frowning, staring elsewhere with my mouth wide opened because the dentist's fingers were placed idle in my mouth while she stood so close. I wanted to ask more questions, but I couldn't, so I just stared at my dentist with raised eyebrows, but then I gave up and looked elsewhere again, thinking about kidney. That day was indeed the longest time my mouth had been shaken, with all the scaling, drilling, filling, and printing. :')


That day too, I went home feeling more adult than ever. I faced one more of my childhood fears.

 

When I checked my phone on the way home, there were lots of notification from 2 work-groups. I held on to my phone the whole time but didn't feel the vibration at all, I wonder. One group sent me gratitude messages because I managed our Management Trainee group's funds and handled the condolences flower board for Sriwijaya Air SJ-182. The other group was a misunderstanding chaos. It was okay soon after I stepped in, but I still laugh as I write this. I can only say that there was this abbreviation from HR that was mistaken for something insulting by my team that they got so mad. How I like mediating disputes like this. :3

 

You might also notice that in this post I didn't show my before-after teeth. It's because I save it for my future post covering my whole teeth-aligner journey. I promise I will attach everything there. Please look forward to it if you read this~ See you in the other post!


Sunday, January 10, 2021

Early Analysis: Sriwijaya Air / SJ 182 / CGK-PNK (Jakarta-Pontianak) / B737-500 / 09-01-2021

January 10, 2021 3 Comments

 That one minute...


Written in English:

 

The flight number of SJ 182, from Jakarta heading Pontianak using Boeing 737-500 Classic with the nose-name of "Citra"; it was the first plane crash in Sriwijaya Air's history to claim death which occurred on January 9, 2021. A heart-wrecking national disaster literally in the first full workweek in 2021. As much as it breaks my heart in pieces as a person that I lost words that day, land crews are expected to function well in the present time and stand strong to face what the future might lay ahead while trying to hold heart pieces together.

 

Looking at how creative people in Indonesia can be in assuming and commenting online on an airplane crash..this is the least I can do. Doing some fact checks based on data before adding comments and think of the family in grief should be of utmost importance.. Just because our family or friends weren't there in the crash or the airline, it should not be a reason to not being mindful of words.

 

I won't say any personal opinion here about the crash because I'm fully aware I'm not an aircraft operations expert as well, but instead, I will leave you the best early analysis video based on data by an expert that I can find for education purposes. It is spoken mostly in Indonesian with a bit of English, but written in English:

 

 

I'm not gonna lie that I cried hearing the last point of his explanation about what could happen in just ONE minute. I can't imagine being there at that minute... My heart and prayers go to all crews, passengers, and the family members they left behind. We all hope that all crews and passengers will soon be found.</3

 

Ditulis dalam bahasa Indonesia:

 

Nomor penerbangan SJ 182, dari Jakarta menuju Pontianak menggunakan Boeing 737-500 Classic dengan nose-name "Citra". Itu adalah kecelakaan pesawat pertama dalam sejarah Sriwijaya Air yang menelan korban jiwa yang terjadi pada tanggal 9 Januari 2021. Bencana nasional yang menghancurkan hati di minggu kerja pertama di tahun 2021. Walaupun hati saya hancur mendengarnya sampai hilang kata-kata, awak darat diharapkan agar tetap berfungsi normal dan berdiri tegap menghadapi kemungkinan apapun di masa depan sambil membawa pecahan hati sendiri.

 

Melihat kreatif-nya orang-orang Indonesia dalam berasumsi dan berpendapat online tentang kecelakaan pesawat.. paling tidak ini yang bisa saya lakukan. Saya ingin mengingatkan agar kita sebaiknya cek fakta dulu berdasarkan data sebelum berkomentar dan juga mencoba untuk bisa lebih memikirkan keluarga yang sedang berduka.. Hanya karena keluarga atau teman kita tidak ada di sana saat kecelakaan terjadi atau di maskapai penerbangannya, bukan berarti bisa menjadi alasan untuk tidak menjaga kata-kata. 

 

Saya tidak akan menulis pendapat pribadi soal penyebab jatuhnya pesawat ini karena saya juga bukan ahli operasional pesawat, tetapi saya akan memberikan tautan video analisa awal berdasarkan data terjelas yang dapat saya temukan untuk tujuan edukasi. Sebagian besar diceritakan verbal dalam bahasa Indonesia dengan sedikit bahasa Inggris, sementara point tertulisnya ada dalam bahasa Inggris:

 

 

Mendengar poin terakhir dari penjelasannya tentang apa yang bisa terjadi hanya dalam SATU menit saya sampai menangis. Tidak terbayang rasanya jika ada di sana pada menit itu... Hati dan doa saya sampaikan untuk semua kru, penumpang, dan anggota keluarga yang ditinggalkan. Semoga semua awak dan penumpang dapat segera ditemukan. </3 

Sunday, January 3, 2021

Funeral in Yogyakarta Beach

January 03, 2021 0 Comments

Who else is awkward at funerals? Me too. I maybe good with words but I do have difficulties in being articulate in funerals. Pat in the arm is usually the best I can do, but of course I can't do that to the elders.

 

This time, it's going to be a bit of a heavy read and more personal than usual. Hence you can close it and open other posts that are lighter if you don't want to read something personal. Well, be warned, daisy. :p

That morning, I remember thinking if I should skip the day and stay home. My auntie and uncle were ready to go at 4.30 am while I was still in my PJ. I told them, "Tbh, I'm not sure if I should go.." It was the day to go to a faraway beach to scatter the cremated ashes of one of my elementary friends' dad. Hence, it was for family and best friends, like my uncle and aunt to the deceased and his wife. Meanwhile, I don't even talk to that friend anymore. Then my uncle replied, "You must remember that his mom had helped picked you up to and from school for quite some time." Asians are usually raised to never owe/burden others, but once we do, it's forever to remember.


For as long as I can remember, school days were nightmares. For someone who hated attention, being well-liked for the visual is like being a white rabbit in hunting seasons. Scratch that, I was a black-footed cat who worked solo, good at hiding (and reading books), hissed when found, clawed around to protect, but from a distance, I looked like a social pretty little cat with big eyes. Back then, I had a terrible trust issue; I was too cautious, and my walls were too high. People often praised how strong I was, but you know there is always a coward inside a wall who is afraid to welcome those who sincerely reaching out, not to mention to accept any kindness in the air. 


Anyway, I ended up going to the beach, out of filial piety to my family. We first picked up another lady friend of my aunt and uncle 32 kilometers away by toll before we headed to Kukup Beach in Yogyakarta, another 85 kilometers road trip. Kukup Beach is one of the eight "Gunung Kidul" beaches. If you ever heard the great legend of Nyi Roro Kidul, Indonesian Goddess of the sea, this is one of those infamous "Pantai Selatan (Southern beaches)" in Yogyakarta. The entry ticket is only IDR10,000/person, and remember this top unwritten rule: NEVER enter the beach wearing anything green or blue. People would frown as if you are a lost cause, but they might also tell you to change clothes or not enter at all. The rational way to see it, because if you drowned, you'd be hard to spot because your clothes' color resembles the sea. Mystic-wise, green and blue have always been Nyi Roro Kidul's emblem, so wearing it in her territory is like asking her for attention to be taken. Locals say Nyi Roro Kidul prefers young and handsome men, but new female maids would be great too, and when she wants you, your soul she'll get. For those who wear white as their beach color like me, this is not a problem.

 

The funny thing about me and this beach, I went there 2 or 3 times only to scatter ashes, so I never got to see the tourist spot. Nonetheless, though we were far enough from the tourist spot, the place was still crowded with people without masks. It was still amid a pandemic, so I was just as dumbfounded.

 

Another funny thing about being Asian. Remember when a pretty jiejie in the previous post said I don't look my age? The lady friend of my aunt and uncle asked me if I was on a school holiday. Do I have to put make-up on? Maybe, but on a more serious note, I'll keep emphasizing that I look taller because I'm skinny and I look like a school girl because I rarely wear make-up unless for special occasions. Now, this is every guy from hometown who hadn't seen me since high school, "Are you a vampire or what? You sure got taller but don't look a day over 18!" followed by their parent, "You haven't married yet, right? Any boyfriend?" I wished I could say I was gay at times like this. Actually, I did try it once, and another problem occurred as words travel and I attracted the wrong group. :/ I had to clarify and apologize for being inconsequential.

 

Back to that day, I ended up not saying anything about condolences. I was just there existing, smiling, taking pictures, helping a bit, and answering questions, trying to give out good vibes at least. I don't know what to say to those who just lost their loved ones, so I treated them like normal instead.


Since Buddhist is their religion, the ceremony was done by two monks in a coral cave before they scattered the ashes to the sea. Afterward, the eldest son came along with the other two experienced locals over-crossing to a coral reef. They brought one crock of the bone ashes, another of the ashes of the belongings, and a basket of flower petals.





People say when a good man dies, his funeral procession will run smoothly and unwrinkled. I witnessed it that day too when some problems occurred but were solved almost immediately. I also heard that the ashes usually go with the wind first, but that day, every time the eldest son sprinkled the ash, a wave would always come as if embracing them before the wind caught it. In the tradition I know, it foreshadows a smooth journey to the afterlife, for nature has welcomed the vessel with ease.

From an early age, I know I want to be cremated too after I die. I want my ashes scattered in no other than the ocean. First, it's a beautiful place to say goodbye to your loved ones. Second, I don't want to burden my family with my burial and grave care. They can just look at the sea to pray or remember me by.


Before we left, my friend apologized for something mean he did in elementary. I stared at the ocean blankly for a few seconds wondering, "The hell did he do, lol." Despite not recalling anything worth apologizing for, I said to him, "Water under the bridge, we were just kids. I'm sorry too if I ever hurt you somehow and don't remember it." He said I have a really strong heart. Strong. That word again. Just like beautiful or pretty. One can hear too much of a word until it loses its meaning. The thing is, I'm not even sure if I was that strong. I was just turning the feel-button off as a defense mechanism during schools, so dodging wounds was easy. Now that I learned to embrace pain while my pain receptors are on, I dare say that this strength and courage outgrew the coward behind the walls I was.

We stopped by the lady friend's house in the afternoon before continuing our road trip home. She has a lovely garden with a small basketball court for her sons, a Maria Cave since she is Catholic, and mango trees. I think this is an Asian thing too since every Asian house I know always has at least one mango tree in the yard. I like it.


I slept all the way home, too many people and socializing for a day. I remember the last thing on my mind before I dozed off was some women I know who had buried their late husbands. These women didn't turn off their pain receptors or shut people off. They grew to accept the pain, walked up straight, and lived with it. They're still there for their children, do what matters, and that's what I call resilient. Right now, I'll settle with "strong'", but one day it will be "resilient" too.



 

Saturday, December 26, 2020

Fixing Hidden Ash Hair Color Before 2020 Ends

December 26, 2020 4 Comments

 

Two days after arriving in a highland city where my grandma is, I decided to visit my favorite salon of an acquaintance there.

 

If you are wondering how dare I catching a flight home for Christmas and New Year in this corona time, well, I finally got myself swabbed with an Antigen test. It's like the combination of PCR and Rapid Test (higher accuracy than the antibody one), which costs IDR200k at the CGK airport. I had myself tested a few hours before the flight with a friend, and it was something. I heard if we took a long steady breath in while the nurse is doing the nose plugging, it wouldn't hurt. In my case, it didn't, but it was super ticklish, like holding a sneeze so bad for a long time. It made my eyes teary since the nurse was so spirited in twisting the bud inside for a while for fun (at least that was how it looked to me). I wanted to try swabbing her nose back, but I was in a hurry catching a flight (3 hours of spare time was a close call due to the long queue and walk, I should try 4 hours next time). Still, I'm thankful for the nurse's hard work.


Now back to this salon of an acquaintance. I found her thanks to my cousin, and I like how she has the same style and taste as me. My first impression when I first went there was that she was so pretty to me. I remember she asked me something like, "Lil sis, you are so beautiful! I think I saw you often before. Were you living in X city during school?" Long story short, we came from the same hometown that she even knows my small name, but I didn't even know her existence before! But now I'm a fan. I'm always drawn to older women that are pretty, strong, and driven. It's just that they are so empowering to be around.


2019 was the last I went there for a haircut, so upon seeing me, she bursts, "Yona, pretty Yona! I almost didn't recognize you. You look so much younger and taller. Are you still growing tho? You must be!" I laughed it off and shook my head. In my defense, I probably looked younger because I wore no make-up, and I looked taller because I'm underweight. Oh, but how I missed this jiejie, haha. Then, I consulted my home-dyed and self-cut hair. She took a look at it and smiled. She asked me what color I'd like. I said ash and brown, and I've always wanted to have the ash hidden in the inner layer. She caught on fast and immediately suggested black for the outside layer instead of brown so the ash can stand out from the inside.


Below is the coloring result captured in-door. The thing about ash color, it sometimes looks brown-ish in cameras. :(



My whole life, I have never had such dark black hair since my natural color is dark brown, but the idea seemed intriguing. Even up until now, it's the black hair that caught my attention first in the mirror. It makes me feel cold but fresh, and it fairly contrasts my pale complexion. I woke up to this hair everyday thinking, "My hair so dark like satan's soul. Ooh, but check the ash out." I'm fond of this monochromatic combination. that I want to keep them permanently.

 

Pictures below are up close in an outdoor setting:


When I think about it, I started to like ash-colored hair thanks to my childhood crush on Danny Phantom. :p


More selfies incoming (pardon the bare face):





I'm thinking of growing it long like Taeyeon's in her new MV "What Do I Call You Now?" or just keeping it short and chic like, well, also Taeyeon singing the same song live here. If you know me, you'll guess that I'll go with the second.

Lastly, you might also wonder about the pretty jiejie I talked about before. After we snapped some pictures together, she mentioned looking cobby standing side by side with me. I just had to stoop a bit while she tiptoed a bit, and voila:





On the left is my cousin Phoebe (@vbi_art), an official illustrator for a webtoon called "Flower For Nao" and on the right is the pretty jiejie (@fannysalonsalatiga). That was our actual height captured, which I still found weird because I don't feel I'm that tall at all. I was measured less than 165cm, hey yo! Anyway, if you happen to visit this small town and needed a salon recommendation, you know her Instagram now. ;)