Rumpang

Games

I have been jumping back and forth between these two when I have the time:

• Genshin Impact: for a sense of mission and leveling up. It has very nice graphics and visuals, plus you can change the character's language into Japanese for a cuter sound effect. By the time I posted this, I'm still on level 14.. *sigh* You can play it on mobile or PC too, and when I say the visual is great, it IS. Sometimes after beating some hilichurls, I'd just put my char there standing looking up at the sunset, starry sky, or the ocean horizon for a minute doing nothing. Friends from office have been laughing at my quirks and I laughed too. Beautiful scenery needs appreciation, period. See..mindfulness. XD
  

• Guitar Girl: for a more relaxed state of mind. Google Play's Best of Casual 2020. It has pleasant guitar instrumental songs and a calico cat's costume set. I love any game that let me have a cat and wear anything cat related. This is such a simple and pretty game, so I only have it on mobile. After daily mission or lots of random taps, sometimes I just lie down, put my phone in my hand near my head, and leave it idle for the sake of the comforting instruments. A beautiful strum of an acoustic guitar needs appreciation too. :3

 Songs

Asian Series

Since I'm skipping everything romance and going for more comedy or action (definitely not horror, nope nope), my recommendation would go to:

• Alice in Borderland: A Netflix Japanese Sci-fi series. Don't expect Alice and a white rabbit, but instead, expect a no-life guy named Arisu (starring Kento Yamazaki. I know, if you watch Japanese movies, he's pretty much everywhere) trapped in life-and-death games. To be honest, AIB is brilliant but a bit too psycho for me, so I'm saving it for brighter days. Psst, it's confirmed that there will be season 2.
  

• Mr. Queen: A Korean drama series, but I assure you, this is pure comedy with a bit of time-travel theme and twists here and there. It tells a story of a proud self-absorbed modern guy (starring Choi Jinhyuk) trapped in the body of a Joseon queen (starring Shin Hyesun). It's currently on going, and if you watch this and not laugh one bit, I don't know what you're made of.
  
  

• Great Pretender: A Netflix Original Anime Series about a Japanese con-artist being conned by a group of con-artists from LA to join them conning rich and corrupt people. Phew, a lot of cons there. Many things I like are in there. I really like how the language can switch from English to Japanese, Chinese, Korean, even French, because they are a multi-nation group. I also like how they put in Japanese warlords such as Mitsuhide, Date Masamune, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, etc, as a plastic gacha symbol reference in each case. Not to mention cats! Hehe.. Anyway, hearing "Edamame" never cracks me up this hard. Ah, it only has 23 short episodes in total :(
  

• Attack On Titan/Shingeki No Kyojin: An anime series that has become a reference to vaccine-related meme a lot. Politics, GoT vibes, dark secrets, deep plot and twists. We are all waiting for the final season to end too.
  
  
  

Movie Animation

• I would positively recommend Soul from Disney Pixar! It is really heartwarming in many ways, especially for those who believe that everyone is born assigned to a purpose and that we have to follow our spark to reach our purpose. Many might think that not being able to live following our spark means failure in fulfilling our purpose. "I've always worried that maybe there's something wrong with me, you know? Maybe I'm not good enough for living," said 22 in the movie. I think "Soul" wanted to convey that if you are afraid to live because you're thinking you're not good enough, know that your spark isn't your purpose. Not living according to your big spark is okay. In fact, a spark is not always big. You're ready to live even if you're only good at jazzing or walking. Like 22 said again, "Maybe sky-watching can be my spark." Purpose can always be found along the way, even within small things in daily life.
  
  
  
• My second recommendation would be Demon Slayer The Movie: Mugen Train. It is reported to have surpassed Titanic, Kimi No Nawa, and Frozen at the Japanese Box Office. Demon Slayer can appear a bit childish at some parts, but the courage, morals, and feel train are real kickers. I'm hooked because I want to see how an altruistic person can stay kind in a world full of monsters. Well, my heart goes to Rengoku in this movie, for the good values he instills to his young comrades, little brothers, and filial piety for his mother and father too. Okay, I won't spoil more, go watch it while it is still on XXI!
  
  
  
  
  
  

What do you usually play or listen to, or watch at the beginning of 2021? Let me know because I might like it too :3

Who else is awkward at funerals? Me too. I maybe good with words but I do have difficulties in being articulate in funerals. Pat in the arm is usually the best I can do, but of course I can't do that to the elders.

This time, it's going to be a bit of a heavy read and more personal than usual. Hence you can close it and open other posts that are lighter if you don't want to read something personal. Well, be warned, daisy. :p

That morning, I remember thinking if I should skip the day and stay home. My auntie and uncle were ready to go at 4.30 am while I was still in my PJ. I told them, "Tbh, I'm not sure if I should go.." It was the day to go to a faraway beach to scatter the cremated ashes of one of my elementary friends' dad. Hence, it was for family and best friends, like my uncle and aunt to the deceased and his wife. Meanwhile, I don't even talk to that friend anymore. Then my uncle replied, "You must remember that his mom had helped picked you up to and from school for quite some time." Asians are usually raised to never owe/burden others, but once we do, it's forever to remember.

For as long as I can remember, school days were nightmares. For someone who hated attention, being well-liked for the visual is like being a white rabbit in hunting seasons. Scratch that, I was a black-footed cat who worked solo, good at hiding (and reading books), hissed when found, clawed around to protect, but from a distance, I looked like a social pretty little cat with big eyes. Back then, I had a terrible trust issue; I was too cautious, and my walls were too high. People often praised how strong I was, but you know there is always a coward inside a wall who is afraid to welcome those who sincerely reaching out, not to mention to accept any kindness in the air. 

Anyway, I ended up going to the beach, out of filial piety to my family. We first picked up another lady friend of my aunt and uncle 32 kilometers away by toll before we headed to Kukup Beach in Yogyakarta, another 85 kilometers road trip. Kukup Beach is one of the eight "Gunung Kidul" beaches. If you ever heard the great legend of Nyi Roro Kidul, Indonesian Goddess of the sea, this is one of those infamous "Pantai Selatan (Southern beaches)" in Yogyakarta. The entry ticket is only IDR10,000/person, and remember this top unwritten rule: NEVER enter the beach wearing anything green or blue. People would frown as if you are a lost cause, but they might also tell you to change clothes or not enter at all. The rational way to see it, because if you drowned, you'd be hard to spot because your clothes' color resembles the sea. Mystic-wise, green and blue have always been Nyi Roro Kidul's emblem, so wearing it in her territory is like asking her for attention to be taken. Locals say Nyi Roro Kidul prefers young and handsome men, but new female maids would be great too, and when she wants you, your soul she'll get. For those who wear white as their beach color like me, this is not a problem.

 

 

The funny thing about me and this beach, I went there 2 or 3 times only to scatter ashes, so I never got to see the tourist spot. Nonetheless, though we were far enough from the tourist spot, the place was still crowded with people without masks. It was still amid a pandemic, so I was just as dumbfounded.

Another funny thing about being Asian. Remember when a pretty jiejie in the previous post said I don't look my age? The lady friend of my aunt and uncle asked me if I was on a school holiday. Do I have to put make-up on? Maybe, but on a more serious note, I'll keep emphasizing that I look taller because I'm skinny and I look like a school girl because I rarely wear make-up unless for special occasions. Now, this is every guy from hometown who hadn't seen me since high school, "Are you a vampire or what? You sure got taller but don't look a day over 18!" followed by their parent, "You haven't married yet, right? Any boyfriend?" I wished I could say I was gay at times like this. Actually, I did try it once, and another problem occurred as words travel and I attracted the wrong group. :/ I had to clarify and apologize for being inconsequential.

Back to that day, I ended up not saying anything about condolences. I was just there existing, smiling, taking pictures, helping a bit, and answering questions, trying to give out good vibes at least. I don't know what to say to those who just lost their loved ones, so I treated them like normal instead.

People say when a good man dies, his funeral procession will run smoothly and unwrinkled. I witnessed it that day too when some problems occurred but were solved almost immediately. I also heard that the ashes usually go with the wind first, but that day, every time the eldest son sprinkled the ash, a wave would always come as if embracing them before the wind caught it. In the tradition I know, it foreshadows a smooth journey to the afterlife, for nature has welcomed the vessel with ease.

From an early age, I know I want to be cremated too after I die. I want my ashes scattered in no other than the ocean. First, it's a beautiful place to say goodbye to your loved ones. Second, I don't want to burden my family with my burial and grave care. They can just look at the sea to pray or remember me by.

Before we left, my friend apologized for something mean he did in elementary. I stared at the ocean blankly for a few seconds wondering, "The hell did he do, lol." Despite not recalling anything worth apologizing for, I said to him, "Water under the bridge, we were just kids. I'm sorry too if I ever hurt you somehow and don't remember it." He said I have a really strong heart. Strong. That word again. Just like beautiful or pretty. One can hear too much of a word until it loses its meaning. The thing is, I'm not even sure if I was that strong. I was just turning the feel-button off as a defense mechanism during schools, so dodging wounds was easy. Now that I learned to embrace pain while my pain receptors are on, I dare say that this strength and courage outgrew the coward behind the walls I was.

We stopped by the lady friend's house in the afternoon before continuing our road trip home. She has a lovely garden with a small basketball court for her sons, a Maria Cave since she is Catholic, and mango trees. I think this is an Asian thing too since every Asian house I know always has at least one mango tree in the yard. I like it.

I slept all the way home, too many people and socializing for a day. I remember the last thing on my mind before I dozed off was some women I know who had buried their late husbands. These women didn't turn off their pain receptors or shut people off. They grew to accept the pain, walked up straight, and lived with it. They're still there for their children, do what matters, and that's what I call resilient. Right now, I'll settle with "strong'", but one day it will be "resilient" too.

Two days after arriving in a highland city where my grandma is, I decided to visit my favorite salon of an acquaintance there.

If you are wondering how dare I catching a flight home for Christmas and New Year in this corona time, well, I finally got myself swabbed with an Antigen test. It's like the combination of PCR and Rapid Test (higher accuracy than the antibody one), which costs IDR200k at the CGK airport. I had myself tested a few hours before the flight with a friend, and it was something. I heard if we took a long steady breath in while the nurse is doing the nose plugging, it wouldn't hurt. In my case, it didn't, but it was super ticklish, like holding a sneeze so bad for a long time. It made my eyes teary since the nurse was so spirited in twisting the bud inside for a while for fun (at least that was how it looked to me). I wanted to try swabbing her nose back, but I was in a hurry catching a flight (3 hours of spare time was a close call due to the long queue and walk, I should try 4 hours next time). Still, I'm thankful for the nurse's hard work.

Now back to this salon of an acquaintance. I found her thanks to my cousin, and I like how she has the same style and taste as me. My first impression when I first went there was that she was so pretty to me. I remember she asked me something like, "Lil sis, you are so beautiful! I think I saw you often before. Were you living in X city during school?" Long story short, we came from the same hometown that she even knows my small name, but I didn't even know her existence before! But now I'm a fan. I'm always drawn to older women that are pretty, strong, and driven. It's just that they are so empowering to be around.

2019 was the last I went there for a haircut, so upon seeing me, she bursts, "Yona, pretty Yona! I almost didn't recognize you. You look so much younger and taller. Are you still growing tho? You must be!" I laughed it off and shook my head. In my defense, I probably looked younger because I wore no make-up, and I looked taller because I'm underweight. Oh, but how I missed this jiejie, haha. Then, I consulted my home-dyed and self-cut hair. She took a look at it and smiled. She asked me what color I'd like. I said ash and brown, and I've always wanted to have the ash hidden in the inner layer. She caught on fast and immediately suggested black for the outside layer instead of brown so the ash can stand out from the inside.

Below is the coloring result captured in-door. The thing about ash color, it sometimes looks brown-ish in cameras. :(

My whole life, I have never had such dark black hair since my natural color is dark brown, but the idea seemed intriguing. Even up until now, it's the black hair that caught my attention first in the mirror. It makes me feel cold but fresh, and it fairly contrasts my pale complexion. I woke up to this hair everyday thinking, "My hair so dark like satan's soul. Ooh, but check the ash out." I'm fond of this monochromatic combination. that I want to keep them permanently.

Pictures below are up close in an outdoor setting:

When I think about it, I started to like ash-colored hair thanks to my childhood crush on Danny Phantom. :p

More selfies incoming (pardon the bare face):

Lastly, you might also wonder about the pretty jiejie I talked about before. After we snapped some pictures together, she mentioned looking cobby standing side by side with me. I just had to stoop a bit while she tiptoed a bit, and voila: